While studies have shown that voters are less likely to cast a ballot against the rights of minority populations when they know a member of said community, that’s not always the case. Psychologists call our ability to hold seemingly conflicting beliefs - such as liking a gay person while continuing to harbor anti-LGBT sentiments - cognitive dissonance, but it’s not as contradictory as it seems. It’s a fallacy, but a surprisingly effective one: A 2016 study published in the Social Psychological and Personality Science journal showed that when a person is viewed as having a more diverse friend group, others are less likely to view their actions as motivated by bias toward minorities. After having his viewpoints criticized, the individual might claim, “I can’t be racist I have Asian friends,” or “I’m not a bigot my brother is gay!”
The false notion that bigotry is magically cured by passing acquaintance with a member of a marginalized community is often referred to as the “friend argument.” Hypothetically, let’s say that a co-worker gets called out for having bigoted beliefs - like that Asians are bad drivers or that gay men are inherently promiscuous. That didn’t stop the president, though, from pledging to sign the First Amendment Defense Act if it crosses his desk - a bill that would make anti-LGBT bias the law of the land. In extremely on-brand fashion, the POTUS called the ceremony “beautiful.” Trump, who was applauded throughout the 2016 race for being less overtly hostile to LGBT rights than the other Republican candidates, himself attended a same-sex union without burning down the reception hall. When questions came up about the anti-LGBT past of Betsy DeVos, whose family has donated thousands of dollars to efforts to repeal equal rights legislation across the U.S., a profile in the Times approvingly noted that the recently appointed secretary of Education went to a gay wedding one time. These days, it’s hard to find a conservative who doesn’t have a gay friend on speed dial. In fact, Republicans digging up just about any queer person they can to vouch for the fact that they’re totally OK with the whole LGBT thing has become something of a meme over the past year. Even Mike Huckabee, who has branded homosexuality “unnatural” and a “dangerous public health risk,” once claimed that his circle of friends is open to the gays.